"Let Them": A Powerful Shift for Irish Parents Navigating Exam Stress & Teen Motivation 🇮🇪📚

Marie Russell
Apr 6
3 min read

Updated: May 28

By Marie Russell, 5/4/25

🙇🏽When it comes to guiding teens through the maze of college and career decisions, many parents feel stuck between two extremes: hovering too much or stepping too far back. It’s especially hard when your teen seems unmotivated, uninterested, or simply overwhelmed. Enter “The Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins—a deceptively simple mindset shift that can transform the way you support your teenager’s future, and more importantly improve your family relationships in the process.

As exam season rolls in across Ireland, parents of teens sitting the Leaving Cert or Junior Cycle can often feel like they’re on an emotional rollercoaster too — just in the passenger seat. You may feel torn between wanting to motivate your child and not wanting to add to the already mounting pressure.

That’s where the concept of “Let Them” comes in — a compassionate, mindset-shifting approach that offers relief to parents and empowers teenagers to take ownership of their own choices.

🌱 What Is the “Let Them” Theory?

Popularised in parenting and life coaching circles, the “Let Them” theory is simple but transformative:

Let them make mistakes. Let them learn. Let them feel discomfort. Let them grow.

It doesn’t mean stepping back completely or being indifferent — rather, it means releasing control and trusting your child’s ability to navigate their own journey, even if that journey includes stumbles.

🇮🇪 The Irish Twist: Parenting with Heart and Grit

In Ireland, parenting often carries a strong sense of responsibility and togetherness — we pride ourselves on showing up for our children. And that’s a beautiful thing. But in the high-stakes atmosphere of exams, it can sometimes translate into micromanaging study habits, over-scheduling grinds, or engaging in daily “how much did you do?” interrogations.

The truth? That pressure can backfire. It can lead to tension, resentment, and burnout — on both sides.

Instead, “Let Them” invites a new kind of support:

Let them choose how they study, even if it's not your style.
Let them face natural consequences of procrastination or poor sleep, without jumping in to rescue.
Let them rest, scroll TikTok, or vent about the exams — knowing they might need that mental break more than another practice paper.

And when they do come to you — for a lift, a hug, a late-night chat — be fully present. That’s where your true influence lies.

💛 What Letting Them Doesn’t Mean

It’s not neglect. It’s not giving up. It’s parenting with the long game in mind — raising a resilient, self-aware young adult. Your teen may not be able to articulate it now, but the trust you show in them is one of the greatest gifts you can offer during this time.

🎓 Final Thought from a Guidance Counsellor

I’ve worked with countless teens across Ireland who thrive not just because of academic excellence, but because they feel safe, seen, and supported at home. If your teen is studying on the floor, staying up too late, or ignoring your perfectly colour-coded study plan — breathe. Let them and focus on your connection.

And remind yourself:Let them grow at their pace. Let yourself step back. Let this be enough.

Because sometimes, letting go a little is how we help the most. Checking in to see what support they might need is often a good step into rushing into fix their perceived problem.